Wednesday, August 8, 2012

If I Have to Tell You One More Time.... Book Quotes

If I Have to Tell You One More Time....
Amy McCreedy

  • Empowerment Paradigm
    • Can't control others, but can control themselves and environment
  • Control the environment
    • Kids (and adults) need a private space, that others are allowed only by invitation
    • It addition, common spaces need to be allocated
    • House Rules
      • When I choose to play in a common area, I am choosing to invite my siblings to play with me. If I want to play alone, I can play in my room / private space
      • When I choose to leave my things in a common area, I am sharing them with my siblings. If I don't want my siblings to play with them, I need to keep them in my room / private space
      • Play fighting is allowed only by mutual consent. In the case of this rule, you'll need to develop some family-recognized word or phrase that everyone must respect, such as "Stop now", to put an immediate end to the roughhousing when one child is done (or getting hurt). Role play this several times with each child. 
  • Decide what you will do
    • Emphasize that there is no argument or fight without two participants
    • Each person has the choice to stay and fight or ignore and walk away
    • Role play respectful "open hand" requests versus taking back
  • All in the Same Boat
    • Unilateral consequence that affects all
    • A flight between siblings ALWAYS CONSTITUTES MISBEHAVIOR
    • Remain calm and indifferent to the the two sides of the argument
    • Do not pass judgement or declare a right / wrong
    • Refuse to listen to whining - deliver the consequence if a resolution can't be made and walk away
  • Family Meetings
    • Ground Rules
      • Commit to the meeting weekly
      • Don't bring a problem unless you come prepared with 1 or 2 possible solutions
      • Decisions require consensus, not a vote
      • Live with decisions for a week
      • Everyone has a job
      • Remember the fun
    • Pitfalls
      • Tackling too much too soon
      • Parents take over
      • Too many agenda items
      • Straying too far agenda
      • Too much business, not enough fun
      • One person dominates the discussion
      • It turns into a gripe session
      • Going to long
      • Parents solve all of the problems
      • Families only meet when there is a problem

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